Untangling Me

Don't know if I've talked about my new obsession. It started with drawing. Mom is an accomplished painter so she provided me with more than a few spiral bound sketch pads, some pencils and a couple of cool erasers. Coincidentally, Dan's dad Dick, was also an artist. Using some of Dick's vintage how-to art books, I started doing some stuff.  At the start, mom was in a treatment facility because of her broken hip, and later was in another for the compression fracture in her low back.  I didn't want her to be alone, and I wasn't working, so I spent hours, next to her bed, drawing. 

Drawing was the farthest thing from my mind during my TBI recovery. Therapists began teaching me to write left handed, before my release from the hospital, but a friend's young son suggested I try with my right (I had been right handed.) I did, and was able to write lists, sign my name etc. I've used my compromised right hand, to write, for years, but I most often keyboard. To type, I use my entire left hand, then hunt and peck with my claw (right hand.) I refer to it as my claw because it will hold on to anything in it's grip, forever.  I have to make a very conscious decision to release what's there. So, yes, my right hand works but not quite right. 

The question was, then, could I draw?  Well, I tried many different styles, and after more than a year of drawing A LOT, I've learned that I really just love doodling.  Zentangle, to be more exact. The Zentangle result is an abstract drawing that uses repeated patterns, and the Zentangle Method is actually trademarked. It uses 3.5 in square white squares, called tiles, and the drawing is done in black ink. 

In the beginning, I knew nothing about Zentangle, but now I know that it was intended to make the act of drawing pleasing, and meditative. That's exactly how it works for me. To start, I copied some of the drawings pinned on Pinterest. 

Wikipedia calls Pinterest a personalized media platform (it's on the internet) where, after registration, users can upload, save sort and manage images - known as pins. I think of them as a bunch of ideas of things to try to make, images I enjoy, and items I call an if-$-was-not-an issue want.

I had no idea what I was doing, but I was doing a lot of it. I still was practicing real drawing with a pencil and eraser, but to relax, I would fall back into doodling.

Sometimes I am just learning a new pattern, but I incorporate it into some large space I'm filling.  Dan will peer over my shoulder, chuckling, Wow, now that's a lot of things!  Other times, I am filling in the outline of an object, and I try to somehow match the patterns to the object.  I've come to realize I'm doing some strange variation of Zentangle; I don't create 3.5 inch squares (tiles) and I use a lot of color.  

The color comes from markers. I use to swear the best marker was the Flair, but as soon as I saw they ran/smeared when another marker was used over it, I moved to the Sharpie. Sharpies come in different sizes which was helpful, and many colors so I became a Sharpi-o-holic. Then there is the fact that I love a bargain, so my marker collection includes many pens I have found on clearance racks. 

I don't like to erase, so most of the time I just grab a marker and go, and on most actual drawings, I try to incorporate some doodling. We now have the answer to my question:  Yes, I can draw.

Now the question is, WHY can I? I can't comb my hair, my hand is stiff and much of the time uncooperative (large motor skills = not good.) It actually feels like it is part way asleep; kind of numb.


And finally, WHY do I do it? I do it for myself.  I do it to relax.  And, yes, it is almost meditative.