"Still Lexie" the Book: Done

My book's title is Still Lexie because I am. In 1991, I suffered a traumatic brain injury in a car crash in California's high desert.  Some head injuries cause distinct personality change but when mine finally surfaced from the fog of uncertainty no one told me it had changed.  

I didn't need anyone to tell me that physically, I emerged a very different person.  I never regained total function in my right hemisphere and I call the way I walk a 'hobble.' Even after two surgeries my eyes continue to wonder around their sockets, too, both working just not in unison.  My balance continues to be a major issue and I now use a rollator, walker on 4 wheels, when I need to be upright for a long period of time, especially on the track at K.M.S.  I am also slower mentally but friends, especially those with no reference to the before me, say they see no limitations apart from my limp. They are polite.

After several years of pecking at my laptop with the 5 fingers on my left hand and the right pointer digit, I have finished "Still Lexie" my memoir. I am now in search of a Kick-Ass Literary Agent and, or Publisher.  Actually, I'd take anyone willing to publish me.  Currently, I am sending out submissions. 

I began writing this book in Boise in 2009 by reading the accident report for the first time and writing the details around the actual crash, taken from accounts from those that were there.  They were conscious, whole individuals, I was not.

After divorcing, I decided to move back to my home in Montana, where I began.  I continued to write sporadically but was having a hard time organizing.  The book took a backseat.  For the most part, I was focused on getting my new, single life together.  But then, Facebook told me a classmate, Kelly, published a book.  When I actually saw her, probably for the first time since high school, she shared that she enjoyed my blog. "There's a book there, you know!" was her comment.

As casual as I could, I said, "I've started writing one and lots of my blog stories are in it."

It is difficult to say, out loud, "I am a writer," unless you've had material published.  It puts your writing abilities on display and what people actually hear is, "I want to be a writer."  Kelly had been published therefore she was a real writer and I was encouraged.  

She asked me to send her what I had written and said she would help me get it done. And she did. Kelly was only an acquaintance in high school, the friend of my friends but we have quickly bonded and I am certain I would not have completed the book without her help and her friendship.

From her I leaned it needed to be a memoir and because of that I would have to start at the beginning. She told me my readers needed to know me before the accident so I started when I did; my birth in Kalispell, Montana.  I had not lived here since coming home summers during my college years in the early 80s so writing about my childhood came easier after returning to the Flathead valley.

I wrote about my childhood; growing up in this last best place which I now appreciate tenfold.  I had help recalling my high school years and early track career from coach Joe McKay, who I see a few days a week at Sykes, a local diner.  Then, I travelled to Eugene to meet with Mark and Tom my Duck coaches extraordinaire. When I thought I was finished, my children read what I had written and gave me their ideas.  I made some changes, wrote some more and finally arrived at the conclusion.

My objective was to tell my story; the rise, fall and return to self of one of Montana's best track and field athletes.  It's from my point of view and was not always easy but it was something I had to do for myself. It is a book about my life, almost to date but includes Montana stuff, things about Track and Field at the University of Oregon and general head injury information.

Reaching this finish line, years after leaving the blocks might be more satisfying than any race any race I ever ran, maybe.

More to Watch

My daughter played high school soccer, but she was also ran high school track.  Uh oh, now we sound like pushy, type A parents.  We may may have been, slightly, but I don't think we were competing vicariously through her.... because we had experienced our own success.  I wanted for her to experience what I had, as an athlete, because it helped mold me into the person I became.  My athletic background certainly helped me recover, as well as I did from my my head injury, and I wanted to give my oldest child all the tools she would need, not only to survive life's traumas. but to enjoy everything life threw at you.  That being said, let's continue.

The Western Washington collage track is where she got her start, and as most tracks look about the same, it was easy to find our way around.  Each week on meet day I would haul my kids, and even there friends a time or two, to the track in the big city.  They would run, and jump, competing against other children who's parents were introducing them to their 1st taste of competition, and they loved it. After my over-the-top response at her 1st race, I learned to restrain myself when ever cheering was expected. But, as she became more involved with soccer, and I began coaching, we attended the meets less, and less.  The meets became a memory but her track career was just starting.

Around that time she also began to express interest in tennis, encouraged by a young man I coached track with.  He had been a talented tennis player, and was the high school tennis coach.  One .afternoon I drove Rachel to Bellingham for her 1st lesson.  We left the car, to make our way to the courts, when she informed me that she had changed her mind.  I was rather unhappy, and probably let her know, but I understood entirely.

My own mother had driven me to AAU cross country sign ups each year, and each year, while still in the car, I would tell her that I had changed my mind.  I'd tell her that I'd be ready to run the next year. Then we'd go for ice cream, or a pop at my dad's bar

Although I was disappointed that Rachel had wimped out of tennis, I tried not to show it, and on our way to the car a man stopped me.  He told me that he could see my daughter was athletic, and asked if he could teach her to pole vault. Women had only recently began vaulting, and one of the best was from Idaho.  No thanks, I said, fearing the event itself 1st, and then the strange man.  We returned to our small town, where I'm pretty sure ice cream was involved.

When I was coaching track in our little town, both my kids spent lots of time with me on the high school track.  They weren't old enough to be left home alone, so in the beginning they rode a school bus from their intermediate school to the high school.  Then, a trusted high school athlete would pick them up and deliver them to the track.  Because we coached middle school athletes 1st, the chosen escort did not miss any practice.  My best hurdler was Marty, and at the end of practice we would lower the hurdles and my kids would run over them.  Marty helped me coach them, and I watched all my kids have fun.

Marty ended up running at state, but never became consistent running 3 steps between the hurdles. The 300 hurdles were her better race.  It's strange how my little girl's experience with hurdles mirrored Marty's.  But my Rachel didn't just hurdle, she was a sprinter to the core.

She started grade 6 in Boise, she ran in an abbreviated cross country race against all the other 6th graders. It was an introduction to cross country, and an attempt to lure more kids to the sport. The husband and wife team I coached track with, were also the cross country coaches for both the middle school, and high school. Rachel placed 2nd in the mini X country race, behind a good friend she played soccer with.  But before the end of the school year we moved again, this time to Idaho.

Mr. Fast was her 6th grade teacher in Idaho. It may have been an omen, because all Boise elementary schools ran track programs for 5th and 6th graders, and of course, Rachel signed up.  After winning her 1st race, she told me quietly as if  confessing, that it felt really good to win, and she was faster than she thought. Once again, her main competition came from a close friend/soccer team mate. They began trading wins, and both girls qualified for the city championship on Boise State's track.

We arrived early for the meet at BSU. A beautiful all weather surfaced track, surrounds the famous blue football field. The girls were hesitant, telling me they didn't think they were allowed on the track till others got there.   Not true, I said, follow me.  I hobbled down to the track, and let them know what I thought they should be doing to warm up. (FYI: young runners don't know how to warm up.) I stayed with them until other athletes arrived and they got caught up in the excitement of running City.

Rachel took 1st, and her soccer friend Maddie was 2nd.  And yes, I got the same feeling I had watching her run, and win her 1st race in Bellingham.

But there's still more, and I have to finish what I've started.