Hurry Up... and Wait

The Process

The process is not entirely clear to me yet, but I think I may muddle through.  I sent the application on-line, and got a call from an office in North Dakota. ND, mind you, not Montana, which is where I am at.  I was told my small home town didn't have enough workers to process the on-line apps so North Dakota was helping out.  It's struck me funny because, as a child in MT, the simpleton jokes we told always included a North Dakotan.  

We'd ask "How many North Dakotans does it take to change a light bulb?"  "Three!" We'd giggle, "One to hold the light bulb, and two to turn the chair!" And here I was, relying on this worker in ND to get it right.  But, it seems all she did was review my on-line app, to make sure the info needed was correct, before she sent it electronically to yet another place.  Well, I thought, no wonder she was so pleasant!

I knew they were coming but I didn't realize it would be the next business day.  It was good to have the "Work History" and "Functional" reports in hand so I had something to do, because I was now officially retired.  I figured I'd be done in a day or two, but it was more difficult than I had anticipated. I finally wrapped my damaged brain around the two forms' strange questions and got it finished.
  
Our government is moving to electronic disability claim folders so the finished forms were to be mailed to a "scanning contractor" in Salt Lake City, Utah!  There was a reference to my state's capital city in the send-to address though, so I felt better about sending the reports to Utah. Following Instructions on mailing the reports rivaled actual completion of said reports, sent them off...to Utah. There were no postage fees for returning them, I mean forwarding them, and that turned out to be the best news of all.

The Application is In

The decision was made after I crashed my 3-wheel recumbant (read: fancy trike.) My major issue post TBI is balance, which I have very little of, hence the trike.  I ride it every day when I coach cross country at the middle school, which I will continue to do, even though I have retired.   There are two of us coaching the 40 plus kids we start with at the beginning of each season.

I'm running off the trail now, so I'll get back to where I started.  I tipped over going down a short, steep grade, and separated my shoulder and sprained my pelvis.  Those are things I didn't realize for over a week however.  But after my chiropractor x-rayed and started me on an intense rehab schedule, I had to finally admit that my body, in its compromised state, had enough of the daily grind, and I began to apply for disability.  

Initially it was done over the phone, and although I thought I had received a denial to a preliminary something, it had been a full on denial; I made too much money.  This I knew, and that I had to quit before I could go any farther.  I did just that, and began an on-line app.  But I found out I had been denied for real.  I conversed with a lovely SS worker the day before Turkey day, and missed a call from her late that afternoon.  I was "thankful" because it seemed I was finally on my way to approval.

Today was my 1st day of my Unofficial job; Applying for Disability. I got right on the phone to return the call I received from the kind SS worker pre-holiday. I was unable to reach her, of course, and was told that because I had been working with "A" she was who I needed to speak with.  I imagined "A" sitting at her work station in North Dakota, listening to the message I had left, and saying to herself "Well, Montana can wait, I've got North Dakotans to help!"  I was probably the only one she could reach at the end of that long Wednesday afternoon, trapped at work.

Although I am not one to "text" easily, unless it's one of my children, I silently wished I could text "A."

Crap!

Wow, I feel like crap.  I've allowed my life to get in the way, of this, in more ways than just a few.  So much has happened in such a short time, that maybe it wasn't that brief after all! Good, or not so good, all the changes were instigated by me; I...

• Moved home to Montana
• Continued to date
• Met a few yucky guys 
• Worked at an elementary school
• Met a few good guys
• Worked at another grade school
• One of the good guys became a good friend
• That friend introduced me to his best friend (BF)
• I asked the BF to go out, to prove that he would
• Worked at another school
• Fell in love with the BF
• Married the BF
• Bought a new house
• Worked at a middle school
• Filed for disability
• Resigned

That brings you up-to-date on my life, and here I am now!  I can stay at home and write every day if I feel like it, or if I can remember to.  My head injury allows me the use of that flimsy excuse.

I've filed for disability because of the difficulties the actual head injury left me saddled with.  For years I was able to compensate for my issues but now I've pretty much thrown in the towel.  I realize that 22 years post TBI I might deserve to relax some, but it's still a difficult concept to embrace.  

So here I am day one of my "retirement," and already frustrated.  

The Old Hospital

The Old Hospital


“This is where I began,” I said to the handsome stranger in the street. I barely heard his inaudible reply, but sensed he was perplexed. I continued by telling him I had been born in the building he was standing in front of. “It’s strange,” I continued as if I was speaking to myself, “Now I live on the 2nd floor.” I think I knew that I was boring him but I couldn’t stop. “The 2nd floor is actually the 3rd because the main floor is the 1st, but you have to go up a flight of steps to get there. And there is a basement which isn’t really all the way underground.”


He told me he was not from here, and was visiting an elderly aunt down the street. She had taken a nap and he decided to check out the neighborhood, when I caught him staring at the vintage building I now called home.


“It’s not a hospital anymore, obviously, or I wouldn’t live there, right? Now it’s offices, art studios and condos,” I rambled on as I fell into the intense green eyes staring at me. “And, the boiler room out back’s a coffee shop now,” I added without pause.


As I took a breath he asked, “Do you have time for a cup?”

More Motivation

I’ve just completed the long, long, very long drive back to K-town from a place in Idaho I use to call home, and I am inspired! I know I wrote about getting back into writing not too long ago, but now I’m really planning on it. If a spoon was tentatively hovering over my kettle of creative juices, it is now actually in the pot and stirring! My grown kids still live in Idaho, hence the visit. The trip is ten-plus hours but I was on Spring Break so I settled in to the ol’ Ford Focus with a book-on-CD. I still call them books-on-tape, and that definitely dates me. So, iced-coffee in fist, tape playing, I put the pedal to the metal and made the drive.


Once there I spent most of my time eating. Visiting old friends and eating, hanging out with my kids and eating, meeting up with old friends and eating, and just plain eating! You see, I fill out surveys on-line and am awarded points. Then, I redeem the points for rewards. And, as you may have guessed, the rewards I chose were gift cards to restaurants. Of course, I chose the eateries there and not here. But let’s get back to the inspiration part of this story.


Kelli, my daughter’s good friend, has just completed a year-long challenge, of sorts, which she blogged about. She went an entire year without shopping; her numero uno favorite activity. While I was there, the local newspaper sent a photographer to Kelli’s house for pics to go with an article they were writing. She asked Rachel to be there for moral support, and I tagged along. Prior to the photo shoot, I made some benign outfit suggestions. Rachel was quick to poo poo, but her outlook quickly changed. She pointed out that I did fit the audience the View section, of said newspaper, appealed to so my opinion might be worth something. They left the next day for some warm place where she would shop for the first time in a year! Shoes, she said, were first on her list!


She’s Video blogging her last few entries and I can even see my beautiful, daughter n the blogs! Good call, Kelli! The fact that she blogged for an entire year motivated to write again. I was ready, I had my lap top with me so why then did I spend all my extra time in Idaho playing the on-line puzzle game Poppit?