Was it Good for You Too?

The weekend went too damn quick, like they always do. You work all week and hope that the Saturday or Sunday, maybe, will bring you something new and exciting. Plans are never very concrete for me, unless someone else makes them. I had wanted to go for a drive around the big old lake I had spent my summers on as a child. My head is cram packed with vivid, colorful memories from those times, and I wanted to see what was better: my memories or the recollections I might have up close and personal.



And it wasn't just the lake that interested me. I'd be taking the trip with a guy I had seen previously. It's hard to say whether or not we had been on a "date," but I like to think we had. We had spoken on the phone and he did pick me up, at my sister's, and we went to dinner. But I can't help but think he thought of it as meeting an aquaintance. We had some history, but only some. That had went well, I thought, but I always think things go well. I'm overly optimistic, I think. The best is what is always in the back of my mind. Is it because of my head injury? Am I not thinking straight? Those are questions I struggle with from time to time.



I know that memory can be an issue after hitting your head way too hard, and I have experienced it. This head injured individual has always dealt with it, though, in terms of short term memory. For example, please don't ask me anything about a previous day's meal, and expect me to answer quickly, or for that matter, correctly! People tell me that those memory lapses have nothing to do with my head injury, but the difference is that I always default to that as the reason. In a way I am lucky to always have a reason, for my difficulties that is.

But the question remains: does my optimism have something to do with my head injury? Am I totally off base? I think that I might be an OK person, then I am reminded of what my charming ex-husband always told me. He said it's not always about you, and he was right. It's not always about me.