Breathe In, Breath Out

I've started meditating, in a group, at the Kalispell Zen Center. I like it, but sometimes it's difficult to ignore the laughing in my head. In one session, we were to focus on our bodies, our whole bodies, as we were breathing, in and out.  Then, the speaker began to talk about specific parts. OK, I can do that, I thought, so I did.

The body as a temple, that sort of thing, was where she was heading. I thought about all the really cool stuff my temple has done for me. It ran faster, and jumped farther than I ever thought possible, even though, I was pumping it full of crud each night.  No, I wasn't doing steroids, I was eating. Every night, after dinner, I visited the campus Dairy Queen for a grilled cheese and banana milk shake. My coach asked me to gain weight, and I thought that might work. Then, it survived my horrendous crash in 1991, and the countless number of falls since. This shrine continues on with only minimal help from me. Sure, I exercise some. I ride my 3 wheel recumbent bike, I jump and jiggle with the Silver Sneakers group in the basement of our home town diner Sykes. I eat a fairly decent diet thanks to Dan, my husband, who does the cooking; basic down home grub. My temple keeps plugging along.

Back to meditation. It was a lot like that trick you do to fall asleep; you relax every part of yourself, one section at a time starting with your toes.  Only, we started at the top of body and as we breathed in, we were to become aware of each part, not relax it. For example, our hair, then face, ears etc. But then, we were to smile at that part, as recognition, I guess. When she got to our liver, she didn't ask us to smile, and I was glad because I was still recovering from smiling at my gut (digestive tract!)  I struggled to remain still, and in the moment as I anticipated which areas of the body she would recognize. I envisioned Smiling at my vagina.

I certainly don't mean to poke fun at the practice of meditation, or those involved with the group, because I am sincerely enjoying it, and it's something I need at this point in my life.  I am not one to go out in the evening, but I'm looking forward to Thursday evenings in the old KM.

The Zen Center is in the KM building downtown. KM stands for Kalispell Mercantile, and it is where we did a lot of shopping as a child. This cool old building was a grand department store. And, it sure was elegant! I compare it to places we saw only saw TV, like Macy's in New York, where shoppers stood at counters, or spoke directly to well dressed clerks about the location of goods, or sizing (does said brand run big or small?) and then went up a grand sweeping staircase to the diner for lunch. The KM was cool enough to compare to that!

So I get to sit in this quiet, but inviting, relaxation space in a cool, vintage building, with a group of calm, cerebral (or so they seem) people, and rest my mind. At the end of an hour I feel like my brain has had a good, long nap.  For now, I can't imagine not doing it.